APK Download Apps Books & Reference Bestof World's Funniest Quotes 1.0

Bestof World's Funniest Quotes 1.0 APK

1.0 / August 16, 2015
Informative Fortunes ltd.
Books & Reference
(4.0/5) (6)
Bestof World's Funniest Quotes 1.0 screenshot 1 Bestof World's Funniest Quotes 1.0 screenshot 2 Bestof World's Funniest Quotes 1.0 screenshot 3 Bestof World's Funniest Quotes 1.0 screenshot 4

Description

Best of Hand Picked Funny Quotes at yourFingertips !

- Browse all Quotes
- Get a single funny random quote per click
- Get 5 random funny quotes per click

below are the first 30 funny quotes out of 495 in total :

1.

Charlotte: So how are you?Carrie: I'm good. How areyou?Charlotte: Great.Carrie: I told Aidan about the affair and hebroke up with me.Charlotte: Trey and I never had sex on ourhoneymoon.Carrie: You win. So. Should we get more coffee or shouldwe get two guns and kill ourselves?
- Sex and the City


2.
Actually, I...this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I likeit. When I'm talking about...when I'm talking about myself, andwhen he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

- George W. Bush


3.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it,then wonder what to do with it.
- Oscar Wilde


4.

If you really want something in this life you have to work forit. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers
- Dan Castellaneta


5.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

- Woody Allen


6.
Eggs have no business dancing with stones
- Italian Proverb


7.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

- Oscar Wilde


8.

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of yourlife when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

- Fran Lebowitz


9.

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big
- Chi Chi Rodriguez


10.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

- Woody Allen


11.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission
- Fred Allen


12.

If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for awalk.

- Anonymous


13.

I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.

- Jack L. Warner


14.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes areperfect.

- Benny Hill


15.

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out inthe lake and threw her off the boat. I said, "Mom, they weren'ttrying to teach you how to swim."
- Paula Poundstone


16.

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

- Erma Bombeck


17.

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you werein the wrong place at the wrong time.

- Ani Difranco


18.

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crimerates in the country.

- Anonymous


19.

Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to beisolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtainedfrom them...

- Dan Castellaneta


20.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessaryfrom time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a blackeye.

- Miss Piggy


21.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member ofCongress. But I repeat myself
- Mark Twain


22.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol thanalcohol has taken out of me.

- Winston Churchill


23.

I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I calledInformation. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't findmy socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And theywere!
- Stephen Wright


24.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back
- Anonymous


25.

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return.It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

- Arthur C. Clarke


26.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she wassixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell sheis.

- Ellen DeGeneres


27.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

- Mae West


28.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hearheavy breathing again.

- Erma Bombeck


29.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger
- Mark Twain


30.

One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I amhaving a good time.

- Nancy Witcher Astor, Viscountess

App Information Bestof World's Funniest Quotes

  • App Name
    Bestof World's Funniest Quotes
  • Package Name
    worldsfunniest.quotes
  • Updated
    August 16, 2015
  • File Size
    2.1M
  • Requires Android
    Android 2.3 and up
  • Version
    1.0
  • Developer
    Informative Fortunes ltd.
  • Installs
    500 - 1,000
  • Price
    Free
  • Category
    Books & Reference
  • Developer
    Email [email protected]
  • Google Play Link

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